Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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