you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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