i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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