just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
