My room smells like vodka and shame
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
