good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
