Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
