I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize