you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
