We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's never too late to be topless.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
