wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize