So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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