I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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