Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
