The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
