super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
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On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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