Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
