all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
