it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
