He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
