i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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