This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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