he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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