This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
