What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
