You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
