am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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