Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
