Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My penis needs a shock collar
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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