seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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