If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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