It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
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it's like her boobs came off with her bra
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
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