I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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