Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
