she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
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Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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