Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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