It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
