it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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