I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
