I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
