Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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