Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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