God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
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I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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