I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
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It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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