Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
