you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Please don't give away my fajitas
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
