the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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