just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
