He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
