the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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