she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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