i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Randomize
