Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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