Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
