I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
