omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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