Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
