I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You did what with his pubic hair?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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