My hair reeks of homosexuality.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
