I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i think i have two assholes
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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