there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
