he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.