People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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