im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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