...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize