At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
