Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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