You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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